


The Throne

by Colifower



Category: Loki (Marvel) - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: An atempt at humor, Frying pan violence and other related crimes, Gen, Loki does not know how to draw, Raisin will return :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:22:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28219899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colifower/pseuds/Colifower
Summary: What Loki was about to do was foolish and knew it. But he also wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t try, he needed answers.
Relationships: None!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The Throne

The halls were emptier than he remembered. Not a day had passed and no mourning signs were at sight. The aftermath of the battle was odd. Few injured, most of them dead or missing in the depths of another realm. However, the floors were immaculate if only missing a few chunks of marble.

What Loki was about to do was foolish and knew it. But he also wouldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t try, he needed answers. He flickered his hand and his illusion opened the door. Loki had only taking a glimpse of one the guard sent to retrieve his body, so he had to improvise. His thoughts went to the one that had told him of his not-mother’s death. He was part of the royal guard; he would have easily died in battle with the dark elves, although he had never went back to check on him.

The illusion entered graciously the throne room and bowed politely while Loki silently walked behind the man kneeling besides the throne.

“Forgive me, my liege. I’ve returned form the Dark World with news.”

“Thor?” asked Odin, without any sign of sentiment in his tone.

“There was no sign of Thor, or the weapon, but…”

“What?” said the king, turning his head around.

“We found a body”

“Loki…” he lowered his sight. Loki said nothing but couldn’t help to smirk slightly.

“Loki!” said Odin suddenly, turning around as if he had expected him to be there. “You little shit! I…”

Smack! Loki didn’t know what to do, so he pulled a frying pan out of his dimensional pocket and smacked Odin square in the face. The Allfather fell ungracefully to the floor.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” murmured Loki. He stared at the… corpse? Unconscious body? At this point the distinction wasn’t important. Specially after hearing what sounded like his brother’s footsteps coming towards him.

He didn’t have enough time to think of a better plan, so he grabbed Odin’s feet and tossed him behind the throne while he panicked. “That’ll have to do” he said as he threw the pan behind him. His brother slammed the door open covering the noise the pan made hitting the floor (he was lucky, but not lucky enough to have laid another hit on his not-father’s face).

Thor kneeled and waited.

“You once said there would never be a wiser king than me” stated Loki and then paused for dramatic effect. “You were wrong. The alignment has brought all the realms together. Every one of them saw you offer your life to save them. What can Asgard offer its new King in return?

“My life” Loki raised his eyebrows. Was he recognising that he was to be executed for committing treason and various war crimes? For real? “Father, I cannot be King of Asgard. I will protect Asgard and all the realms with my last and every breath, but I cannot do so from that chair. Loki, for all his grave imbalance, understood rule as I know I never will. The brutality, the sacrifice… It changes you. I'd rather be a good man than a great King.”

“Is this my son I hear? Or the woman he loves?”

“When you speak, do I never hear Mother's voice? _“ Touché_. Loki sighted and waited for him to continue. “This is not for Jane, Father. She does not know what I came here to say. Now forbid me to see her or say she can rule at my side, it changes nothing.”

Loki sighted and thought of something his not-father would have said. “One son who wanted the Throne too much, another who will not take it. Is this my legacy?”

“Loki died with honour. I shall try to live the same. Is that not legacy enough?” Loki nodded. Thor picked up his hammer and offered it to the man on the throne. Loki knew that he had to let go of it if he didn’t want anybody to know about the frying pan issue still going on behind him.

“It belongs to you. If you are worthy of it.”

“I shall try to be.”

“I cannot give you my blessing, nor can I wish you good fortune.” He knew it wasn’t true, but truth had never Odin’s forte. Was it his, then?

“I know.”

Loki felt slightly bad for his brother. He could tell that his girlfriend was about to break up with him and the he was going to decide to go on a depressing sabbatical to get away from grief. He felt he needed to say something. After all, Odin had never stated any affection for Thor either. “If I were proud of the man my son had become, even that I could not say, I would speak only from my heart. Go, my son.”

“Thank you, father” said Thor, bowing slightly and walking out of the room while leaving the door open.

“No, thank you” said Loki mockingly. Now he had to get up and close the door again. Loki scratched his neck. He knew Thor was far from ready to be king, but he was surprised this little adventure had made him somewhat conscious about it. He took a deep breath and stretched.

“Shit, this chair is uncomfortable. I’ll have commission someone to give it back support if I plan to sit here every day…”

Loki went to retrieve his pan and saw the old man laying unceremoniously on the floor. He knew he had to move the body quickly, but he couldn’t resist painting a farting butt on his left cheek. He would certainly need help of the guards to move the man out of Asgard and also think of a way to give himself a proper burial. For the moment he settled on casting an illusion of himself over the king.

“Hmmnnn… Loki…” Smack! He needed to get himself a more permanent way to keep him unconscious but at least he was reassured that the guy was not dead. He really needed Odin to be sent away and never to return. Loki, still disguised as Odin, picked up the body as best as he could and dragged him down the stairs and towards the back door.

“It is better if you ask your wards for help, your highness” said one guard, closing the door that Thor had left open.

“Erm, yes. Thank you. You can help me with this. I thought I was able to carry my son’s body, but I seemed to have forgotten that I am an old man now.” Loki started picking at his hands and tried to appear as regal as one can be. He had been weakened by his near-death experience back in the Dark world and was struggling to keep the illusions in place. His butt-fart was now visible and did his best to try to cover it with his cape.

“No, no, my lord. You should be resting.” Insisted. “After losing your beloved wife and son you’ll need it. These men over here will…”

Loki dropped the body yet again and looked at the guard he had made up. The one that looked exactly like the man that just entered the throne room. His eyes widened and the grip on his pan got tighter.

“Erm… I won’t say a thing, my prince. Not a word.” Said the guard. “If you do this little thing for me.”

“Prince? I am Odin Allfather, your lord and king!” said Loki trying to emulate Odin’s condescending tone.

“No, you’re not, my prince” he continued. “And you’ll need some allies if you plan to sneak out The Allfather’s body out of Asgard.”

Unfortunately, he was right. Loki took a deep breath and dropped the illusions all at once. He kept holding the pan. “What’s your name, soldier?”

“Raisin”

“Raisin?”

“Yeah, my parents thought they were language geniuses.”

“Well, Raisin. The Royal Family does not deal with terrorists.”

“Hmmm… yes you do” stated the man. He was getting kind of cocky and Loki didn’t like that at all. “That’s what royal families do, deal with each other. But we’re getting off topic. I know that if this plan backfires I’ll be the one to blame, so don’t worry about me telling.”

“So, you have a plan?” Loki will never admit it, but he was kind of relieved that he didn’t have to do it alone.

“Yeah, we can do what we did to my partner’s mom” said Raisin, nonchalantly. “She didn’t approve of his son and I living together so we sent her to Shady Acres some years ago.

“Is that… a nursing home?”

“Yeah, on Earth. The staff is kind and nice. They have good food and chess tournaments. They also don’t let them go to their daily walk if they say any slur, which is a plus.”

“Sounds promising. Any ideas about my funeral? Do you know how to get a corpse?”

“Yeah…” murmured Raisin. Suddenly his boots were kind of interesting.

“Erm… Sorry for your loss” said Loki. He didn’t know what to say in these kinds of situations.

“I… I really want to give him a proper burial but I don’t have any money on my name.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. I have lived with Thor for centuries, I guess some of his interior design skills had stuck” said the God of Mischief. He realised that Raisin had started to cry and felt very helpless. “Here use this.”

Raisin chuckled when he handled him the king’s cape to wipe his tears and clear his nose. “Is that…a very ugly muffing?”

“What, no. It’s very obviously a fart!” said Loki. “My artistic skills had been insulted. I will have to kill you now.”

Raisin rolled his eyes. “Now, shut up and pick him by the hands, he looks heavy.”


End file.
